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Things Used in Fanfiction as Lube & Condoms That Should Never Be Used as Lube or Condoms

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wtffanfiction:

Lube
Gravel
Going in dry
Crushed Doritos
Honey
Mayo (is also not an instrument)
Shaving cream
Beer
Ammonia
(Maple) syrup
Ice cream
Gasoline
After shave
Soap
Grey matter
Ink
Motor oil
Vapor rub
Watermelon juice
Lemon juice
Melted butter
Butter
Vodka
Glue
Jelly
Chocolate sauce/choco syrup/fondue
Sweat
Deep Heat (like the hot part of IcyHot)
Cooking oil
Mud
Blood
Aloe vera lotion
Toothpaste
Saliva
Shampoo/Conditioner
Spaghetti sauce
Ditto the Pokemon
Peanut butter
Foundation (makeup)
Acid
Hand sanitizer
Brandy
Tomato juice
A whole tomato
Olive oil with flakes of oregano
Olive oil
Cookie dough
Melted sugar
Sugar
Cream filling from an Oreo cookie
Unnamed chemical compounds
Drool
Cheesecake
Johnson’s Baby Shampoo
Tears
Molten lead
Sand
Brownie batter
Aloe
Plasma
Rat poison
Liquid Nitrogen
Sun screen
Body butter/lotion
Bong water
Shit
Yellow mustard
Grape juice
Popsicle
Fish juice
Mashed potatoes
Melted frozen yogurt
Hot sauce
Lava
Salsa
Natural oils of a horse
Pages from a book
Mpreg breastmilk
Snow
Monster slime (as in, slimes that swallow things and dissolve those things)
Chalk
Milkshakes
Applesauce
Aerosal deodorant
Marshmallow fluff
Vaseline
Raw egg
Clown paint
Cake batter
Gun oil
Cough syrup
Movie theater popcorn butter
Glass
Kitty litter
Snot
Guacamole
Wallpaper paste
Cum
Diarrhea
Holy oil
Vanilla pudding
Frosting
Seal oil (from boiling seal fat)
Tree sap
Spiked egg nog
Diet Coke
Horseradish sauce
A jellyfish
Holy water
Potions (like in Harry Potter)
Laundry detergent
Easter eggs
Melted candle wax
Bird poop
Butane
Lysol
Tears of children
Penile sweat
Ass juices
Coffee
Milk
Corn syrup
Viscera
Ichor
Beef stew
Medi-gel (In Mass Effect, it’s used as a sealant to grip flesh tight until the wounded person can get proper medical attention)
Liquid from a can of Vienna sausages
Gellato
Poison
Kool-Aid
Body paint
Natural alien lubrication
Napalm
Nutella
Barbeque sauce
Paint
Urine
Rose oil
Cooking grease
Hair grease/hair gel
Souls
Sun tan lotion
Nail polish
Machine grease
Oil paint
Dirt
Pie
Various slimy animals
Huberd’s Shoe Grease
Castor oil
Wasabi
Pancake batter
Hot bacon grease
Mushed eyeball
Lamp oil/kerosene
Werewolf spit with magical lubricating properties
Natural vaginal lubricant used for anal
Mechanical lubricant
Sweet & sour sauce
Ketchup
Fear toxin (from Batman)
Peppermint candy
Marmite
Birthing fluid
Plum sauce
Pieces of chocolate
Salt water
Chocolate cake
Blueberry muffin batter (a stray blueberry was used to stimulate the prostate)
Oil secreted from glands on Gabriel’s wings that helps clean them

Condoms
Banana peel
Used chip bag
Saran wrap
Gym socks
Soda cans
Poison ivy
Cocoons
Dead slime cube (from Minecraft)
Bubblegum
PVC pipe
Candy wrapper
Helmet from a suit of armor (same place as book pages as lube)
Melted crayons
Duct tape
Tin foil
Sandwich bag
Condom wrapper